I was taught that you have to give respect in order to receive it. Even though I was raised by a drug addict and alcoholic, my parents so called had morals. My dad would always say I would never be any good. He demanded respect, even while he would snort his powder right in my face. I did not care I did anything I wanted. No one would care what time I came in because my so-called parents were too crack out and too drunk to notice. My mom barely cooked, most of the time we would go days without food anyway, so I was used to being hungry. If it were something, there to eat it would be a can of corn or some sweet peas.
People would say that I am damaged. Damaged by poverty and damaged by sin. They say that I am stained with doom because of my parent’s way of living. I admit I do have an attitude problem. I use people, chew them up and spit them out. I give no one respect; you see I was not exactly taught to respect others I was just told that is how it should be. What I saw was different. My Father died from an overdose and my mom, well she went to the store and never came back. I lived from foster home to foster home and still do not know what it is like to be loved. I thought it would be better then being with my mom anyways, I was wrong. Back then, I was 13 years old. I finally got set up with a family, that was decent and raise me much better than my parents did. I went to college and majored in business.
Now I am a 26-year-old successful millionaire. Even though my childhood was not all peaches and cream, I manage to stay focus so that I could get ahead in this world. I own my own designer clothing store. During the day I work like any other normal person and at night, well let’s just say I’m a bad girl when the sun goes down. When you have beauty, you can just about get anything you want if you know how to use it. I am five foot six and African American with an hourglass shape figure. I have long sable brown hair and hazel brown eyes. I pretty much use my looks to wheel the men in and dump them out when I’m finished. I am a seductive, flirt and would stab you in the back type of girl. I drink, but do no drugs. I can just think about all the coke my dad snorted up his nose back when he was alive and would get a high from that. I have no boyfriend only toys and I have no friends.
Damaged, I guess I am a little damage when you think about. I have lied and even sold my body to get what I want. That was before all the money came rolling in. Everyone thinks I am a quiet hard working independent woman that does nothing but goes home and snuggles under her blanket with a cup of freaking tea. They see what I want them to see. Back when I was in college, I slept with one of my professors just so that I would pass the class. I have done many things that your average girl would not even think about doing. I slept with my roommate’s boyfriend, just because I thought he was cute. It was wrong, I know but it felt so good. Deceit is my middle name. On a bad day, I would fire one of my employees for a mistake that I had made and hire someone else within a week. I think of myself as evil sometimes, I had a bite of the forbidden fruit and I just cannot seem to get that taste out of my mouth. It is like sex once you have had it it’s hard to stop.
Damaged is tattooed on my heart. It is what it is and nothing is going to change. I am like my mom in a way, except I have money, beauty and I can stand up for myself. My mom let my dad push her around all through out their strange relationship. If someone even thought about taking advantage of me I would I always be a step ahead. I got some good in me, it is just buried for the moment and I choose not to let it free.
I love being a bad girl, bad runs through my blood. The moon is my friend, when it comes out the sex addict and the drunk are ready to get the party started. I’ve slept with so many men I lost count and who cares I am having fun. I have to win and enjoy it know matter what it takes. In the business world no one messes with me, I could be contrite about it, but this is me, this is who I am. Damaged is what I am and is what I am always going to be.
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